Shakespearean Insults, Bitches!

No matter how much literature changes and how different our times get, Shakespeare’s works are relevant. As his birthday (actually his baptism date since his birthdate is unknown) approaches, wouldn’t it be fun to hurl insults at each other in the words of Shakespeare? Here is a list of Shakespearean insults. All you have to do is take one word/phrase from each column and then fling it at the artless bat-fowling barnacle that looks at you the wrong way. It is important to add “Thou” or “Thou art a…” before each insult. Don’t be a frothy flap-mouthed pignut. Try it out.

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I have done this as an introduction to Shakespeare at various grade levels and it is always fun. It is particularly hysterical, and methodical, when reading Romeo and Juliet, as the students face off as the two families of Verona. I have to play referee, but it is definitely a memorable lesson. I get kids insulting each other months after the lesson. And sometimes they use Shakespeare’s insults.

Shakespeare's Insults

For shits and giggles, there is also a website that gives you insulting quotes from Shakespeare’s work. Shakespearean Insulter is a great reference. So go and troll your friends the right way. Educate them in the ways of the bard while insulting them right to their face.

Melanie Figueroa

Melanie is the Editor-in-Chief at The Poetics Project. She has a masters in writing and book publishing from Portland State University and a passion for stories in all their forms. Her favorite book is The Bell Jar. You can follow Melanie on Twitter or Instagram @wellmelsbells.

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