Bill, May I Call You Bill?

Dear Bill, also known as William Shakespeare,

We need to stop playing this game. You and I, we were meant to be. I’m glad you’ve finally realized it.

Thou are more lovely and more temperate. Look! We finish each others sentences!
Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Look! We finish each others sentences!

I know some people are going to look down on this post and say “Amanda, you and a 16th century playwright just can’t be, it’s simple math,” but they are wrong. Dead people don’t have Twitter accounts.

Just so you know, Bill, I’m a huge fan of your work. Now that you’re following my blog on Twitter, I can see that you’re a fan of mine, too.

Now that we both understand that we admire each other, let me tell you all the other ways we belong together. I could do it in sonnet form, but I feel that’s your area, so I won’t step on your toes.

According to the 16 personalities test, you are an INFP and I am an ENTJ. Guess what, Bill? That means we’re a perfect romantic match:

Recommended INFP partners: ENFJ and ENTJ types, as their Extraversion (E) and Judging (J) traits counterbalance INFPs’ Introversion (I) and Prospecting (P) traits.

See? If a website says it is so…

Beyond our mutual admiration for each other’s talents and our matching personalities, there could be a few complications. We both have pasts—I’ve dated other men before and I’m pretty sure you have a wife and some kids. But that’s alright; what’s past is past. I promise not to be overwhelmed by the green-eyed monster if you can make the same promise.

In case I haven’t convinced you of my worth as a partner yet, my dear Bill, let me say this: I may not be as fair as Portia, but I am as well spoken. I may not be as graceful as Ophelia, but I am as devoted. I may not be as blood-thirsty as Lady Macbeth, but I am as strong willed. And, finally, I may not be as innocent as Hero, but I will dote on you with the same affection she gives Claudio.

Bill, further taking a page from one of your many works, I conclude with the following:

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

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