Literary Paraphernalia: Belligerent T-Shirts for the Timid Bookworm

There aren’t many things that I hate in the world. Sometimes, I’d like to think of myself as a peaceful, serene, all-loving, and tree-hugging kind of person. However, the reality is that there are numerous things that will set me off into mini-Hulk mode. One being:

I absolutely hate being interrupted while reading.

It isn’t often that I am abruptly stopped in the middle of a reading experience. For the most part, I don’t mind being interrupted if it’s an obligatory, academic reading that I’m already dragging myself through in the first place. But if I’m entirely enraptured in reading a leisure book with my brow scrunched, possibly laughing to myself, or showing signs of water-brimmed eyes—clearly enthralled by my good read—then a person should, by all means, leave me be.

The few times I have been interrupted usually fall under the following circumstances: 1) Someone had a legitimate question that needed to be answered promptly 2) Someone has tried to sell me something  3) Someone thought it was a good time to talk to me about God 4) Someone just wanted to talk because they had nothing else to do.

Here’s the thing though: I’m what some people might call “timid.” I’m not nearly as vocal as I should be when it comes to speaking out against intrusive irritants. So, if one were to interrupt me during my leisurely reading hour(s), then it is no surprise that I react by using body language. Most of the time, I put down the book and shoot daggers with my eyes while attempting to transmit telepathic signals that equate to “Fuck. Off.”

In any case, if you similarly hate disruptive people with nothing better to do than shatter literary climatic moments for readers, then here are a few t-shirts from Look Human and SKREENED that can help address the problem:

Skreened’s “Fuck off, I’m reading” shirt gets straight to the point. No need for telepathy when you’re wearing one of these bad tees.

Mixing the throwback of Kelis’s ‘Milkshake,’ LookHuman spins the song lyrics to assert readers in their big books and silent reading.

Not tonight, honey. I’m reading.

And, if you’d like to take your developing aggression a step further, sport this tough tee and flaunt your book club pride:

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