Tag Archives: funny

Literary Paraphernalia: Adult Coloring Books

As soon as adult coloring books became a thing (I really don’t know what defines “a thing” – I just know that everyone I know is talking about them), I wanted to do a post taking a look at the trend.

What I was really curious about was what made a coloring book “adult” versus one for kids or one for all ages. The general answer seems to be that adult color books are a heck of a lot harder to color because the lines are a lot closer together and the coloring area is fairly small.

But, a more fun answer is that the subject matter changes. Children’s color books tend to be about, say, monsters. Adult coloring books are about dinosaurs getting high (featured later in this blog post, so I won’t link it here). Now, if you’re interested in adult coloring books, you can always head down to your local chain-market and make a purchase of something generic filled with flowers or birds or what have you, or you can check out these adult coloring books from Etsy.Com, support an artist, and have a truly unique coloring book.

Without further ado, here’s a crap-ton of amazing adult coloring books I found on Etsy.Com. For funsies, I’m going to list these as most all-ages friendly to least all-ages friendly. So if you want the raunchy stuff, skip to the end.

My Brain got Stuck in a Rhyming Loop

When it comes to creative projects at school, my go-to is poetry. I had a big creative project due in one of my classes this past week, and I decided, since it was for Arthurian Romance, to imitate the Medieval French style of poetry. For a week solid, I was spending my nights creating plot and writing in rhyming couplets.

Let me tell you about rhyming couplets.

Door-hinge? I guess that rhymes with orange. Try working that into a poem organically.
Door-hinge? I guess that rhymes with orange. Try working that into a poem organically.

At first, it really isn’t that easy to do. I tend to use a rhyming dictionary when I start out, because my brain isn’t in rhyming mode yet. For the first few days working on an epic, 15 page poem written in eight syllable rhyming couplets, the rhyming dictionary is a godsend. I also use an on-line thesaurus to find words of varying syllables so I can force my thoughts into the eight syllable mold. A thesaurus is also useful in finding words that have the right concept behind them and easy rhymes – for example, the word orange is a jerk when it comes to rhyming, but using a thesaurus gives me all kinds of other options to that dreaded word – warm, flame, gold, etc., which are all much easier to rhyme with.

As time passes, however, these tools fade as the brain starts thinking in rhyme. I’m not kidding – on the third day of working with my project until the day it was due, my brain was rhyming. And so the downside of rhyming started to kick in.

Want to Learn a New Literary Technique? Turn to Disney.

While Disney is controversial in the feminist realm for weak female characters, selling the image of a passive woman being the only desirable type of woman and a host of other things I won’t list here (but will rather link the reader to instead), at the root of every Disney story is writing from a team of talented individuals that know what they are doing.

For a well written theme, look no further than the Disney classics. Theme is defined as the main topic of a text, or in this case, movie. In Disney’s Hercules, for example, the main theme is true strength comes from sacrifice. Looking back even further to earlier movies like Sleeping Beauty, strong, well-represented and almost cliche themes like true loves conquers all are clearly portrayed throughout the film.

And I shall awaken her with true love’s kiss, and if that doesn’t work, I’ll just be some kind of weird pervert that kisses sleeping 16 year old girls.

Shakespeare Pickup Lines

Shakespeare isn’t a stranger to love. He’s written about it in a comic sense (Twelfth Night, Much Ado about Nothing, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, The Tempest), a tragic sense (Romeo and Juliet, Othello, Antony and Cleopatra), and has even inserted love stories into his historic plays (Henry V). It should come as no surprise then, blog reader, that many lines in Shakespeare’s plays can have real life applications of picking up someone you’d like to have relations with. Shakespeare’s characters did it and so can you! Here are some of my favorite Shakespeare pickup lines and how I think they can be applied in real life.

Journeys end in lovers meeting,
Every wise man’s son doth know.
– The Clown, Twelfth Night

This would be a great line to use after last call at a bar. Just go up to your gender of choice and drop this on them, say it’s from Shakespeare, and I’m pretty sure you’ll at least get to second base. At least.

The course of true love never did run smooth.
– Lysander, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Ever have an awkward first date? Or third? Or…any? Maybe just an awkward first meeting? This line is great for that. If you spill hot soup in your date’s lap or go in for a kiss and instead lick their nose (it happens), this line is a great way to recover from that.

Literary Paraphernalia: A Book Lover’s Holiday Wishlist

If you have a loved one who’s an avid reader or writer and have been searching for that perfect, last-minute gift for the holidays, you might want to check out some of the bookish items we’ve listed below. Or, you know, if you just want to treat yourself a little bit. You deserve it.

Around this time of year, people ask what’s on my wishlist. And let’s face it, sometimes holiday shopping involves a little “One for her, and one for me.” So I got to thinking about some gifts that any book lover could appreciate. We have vintage book clocks, scarves and clothes, mugs, and–behold–a personal library kit. Now when your friends borrow books you can give them a due date!

Personal Library Kit

Vintage Book Clocks

Vintage Book Dictionary Heart Pins

Novel Teas

Throwback Thursday: How to Write Bad Metaphors

Let’s face it, metaphors (or as Wikipedia defines it: a figure of speech that describes a subject by asserting that it is, on some point of comparison, the same as another otherwise unrelated object) are all over the place and while great metaphors can be awe inspiring pieces of literary genius, bad metaphors are more prevalent and, honestly, a little more entertaining when you are bored and looking for something to fill your time.

They aren’t just fun to read, however, but they are fun to write.

How dare you Zoidberg, how dare you.

Some of my favorite T.V. shows are full of bad metaphors, like Futurama (if you can’t tell from the picture above), and these bad metaphors are what make the shows funny.

Here’s how to write a bad metaphor.

Building a Mind Palace

Why do all of my very best writing ideas come in the shower? Or, you know, when I’m driving? For some reason, being distracted and unable to jot down any sort of notes is the exact moment when my mind is popping off with wonderful ideas, for academic research as well as for creative writing (heck, even for blog posts!).

Are you like me? I think this is a human thing, not just a weird Amanda thing, so I’m here to offer up some solutions.

First, you can drag your significant other, child, friend, roommate, or paid note taker around with you everywhere you go. Taking a shower? Have them wait outside of the door with a pen and paper in hand to jot down everything you shout out while taking a shower. Driving home? That’s not a problem, because they’re in your passenger seat, with that pen and pad of paper ready to go.

That’s probably not a very viable solution, I admit to that. A tape recorder would probably be a little better, or now of days, a digital voice recorder, but even then you’d have to listen to your own voice on tape (who likes doing that? I don’t) and it’s still not a very viable solution for the shower.

No, what I think writers all need to develop and strengthen is their mind palace. And yes, if you watch Sherlock, I am talking about that kind of mind palace.

I’m only listening because you’re Benedict Cumberbatch.

Mark Twain Pickup Lines

Mark Twain’s not a bad looking young man.
(Image Source: Wikipedia.Org)

It’s no secret that I’m not the biggest American literature fan. While British literature is my forte, I do still appreciate many American classics as well as classic American authors, such as Mark Twain. I must admit, of all the things I knew of Mark Twain, such as his wit and humor, I was not all that familiar with his romantic side, but, through researching this blog post, I found that he did indeed have one.

Mark Twain was married in 1870 and, from all accounts, had a happy marriage that yielded four children. But Mark Twain’s wife, Olivia Langdon, rejected Twain’s first marriage proposal in 1868. How did Twain change her mind? Why, with his words of course. The two lovers corresponded regularly via letter and, once Twain had won Ms. Langdon’s heart and her father’s approval, the two were wed and the rejected proposal was put behind them.

So, while many of us know Twain’s words for their wit and humor, his words also touch on romance. If you’re single and looking to remedy the situation, I’ve found some useful quotes from Mark Twain that can aid you in your quest of seduction.

The situation: You see someone looking bored at a party or a bar.

The Twain line: “Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

The result (hopefully): The person smiles and you two share a great adventure that night that may lead to the greatest romantic adventure of them all.

Thug Notes: Keeping Literary Analysis Gangsta!

Have you ever been hanging out with your homies and felt like discussing the subtle nuances found in Mcite>The Stranger or maybe you were in the mood to converse about Animal Farm and it’s allegorical meaning. No? Just me? Oh.

Well a new channel on YouTube gives viewers a chance to see literary masterpieces through a more realistic scope. Thug Notes is hosted by Sparky. This Gangsta with a Graduate’s lays down some intense retellings of classics, while also providing thorough analysis of themes, character, and symbolism.

What I like about this channel is that it is real. Sparky literally keeps it real. He summarizes these works in a way that is humorous, but also relevant to our 21st century voice and perspective. As he is summarizing, there are stick figure animations with funny dialogue and photos to accompany his narration. Every Thug Notes episode is different.

Conflict: It’s What Makes a Story Interesting

Jack and Jill went up the hill and got some water. The trip was pretty uneventful. I know you think they should fall down and break their crowns, but that really didn’t happen. They just went home and had water.

I know that wasn’t a very interesting story – why? Because there was no conflict. To make matters even more frustrating, I took a common rhyme most readers would be familiar with and I changed the expected conflict to nothing.

Stories need conflict – without some sort of obstacle to overcome or some kind of action to take place, why tell a story in the first place?

There are five basic conflicts most stories use. Think back to your favorite books, movies, television shows, etc., and I bet you’ll find that at its core was one of these types of conflict.

Man Vs. Man

This conflict is pretty straightforward – one person opposes another person. A good example of this type of conflict would be any book from the Harry Potter series.

Jack went up the hill, but Jill didn’t want water. Oh no, Jill wanted blood. Jack’s blood. And she would have it by the time he came down the hill.